How To Jizz Your Pants Without Touching It

Update # 4 Update # 3

HELLO WE ARE BACK!

time that bild_fussball again undergoes an update. A bit later, a bit differently arranged, but otherwise all was - pure madness.

If you're new or have just forget what this is, look but please - IMPORTANT - back again in our info, mode, rules-Post . Thank you! All the old entries from the 07/08 season are found in the general archive Day - or searches targeted by using the tag list .

Enough preface - have fun, forget your humor and it goes on to say that we are back - more updates in a more or less irregular intervals are planned addet us and let us surprise you. Lots of space, we take away the Flist so not;) To get something out of the category

When picture and caption do not really see each other :

first No, he is not.
second Oh, you must read the fine print.
third But also suggests a Labbadia in the picture.
4th Where can it be that Labbadia? What does the picture photographer, we do not know?

I - BUNDESLIGA CLUBS AND THEIR PLAYERS, COACHES AND WHO ELSE running around DA.


A / N: The order in which the clubs will be presented here is completely arbitrary / random (was too lazy to sort alphabetically). As always, all of the images is italics.


FC Schalke 04:

+ The FC shell 04, as will be mentioned again and again is like, at home, really strong. Since the stadium is ever to Magath Fortress or Schalke Fort Knox .
+ Also commendable: Schalke header strength the blue Air Force .


first FC KOLN:

+ The Podolski FC has blossomed after draws against Bayern and Bayer to runner-Schreck .
+ If it not going so well: Prince pitch, and the FC-egoists
+ and then messes up even the defense: From bulwark for shooting
+ repeatedly Lukas Podolski . First he is the flop returnees, a retired scorer, quasi Cologne's problem child . One could also say Prince frustration, bad luck Prince, Prince scoreless , Cologne crisis Clippers or a gate-Podolski . But then! He plows in training, the fight is Prince to fight pork Podolski. Although there was still trouble with a reporter (the Poldi Zoff ), but he hits it again, and how: with a Poldi-Hammer .


Bayer Leverkusen:

+ plays Schwächel Bayer , sometimes The Lever Coolen, but always Bayer Boys because: young team.
+ The Brazilians are fit, that is the motto: Bayer do Brasil
+ Because Daniel Schwaab for his former club a transfer fee negotiated, he is the nice Mr. Schwaab .
+ jam in Stefan Kiessling : Does -nothing-more-Kiessling .
+ Towart Rene Adler takes next to it and becomes the eagle flutter.
+ coach Jupp Heynckes is Don Jupp .


BORUSSIA MÖNCHENGLADBACH:

+ If things work well: horny monks bach
+ Brouwers defender shoots quite a lot of goals: Borussia brouwt yourself a point for the opponents to brouwt what together.
+ If the concentration is about on other things than football? Matmour resists pair formation - "I can do it without Rob!"
+ Raul Bobadilla is the storm-bull .
+ It does not work so well with Rob Friend that is Canada Latte to Rob frustration.
+ The great model of Marco Reus is Tomas Rosicky, so he will Reusicky . And quickly he's also here: rocket Reus .


BORUSSIA DORTMUND

+ Zidan kisses after a goal the camera, the association is to Borussia KNUTSCHmund
+ So they wait, Dortmund Fun Bubis .
+ are questionable, however, some coaches Methods: Today Klopp will see eggs or : Klopp talks Dortmund pants full!
+ Kevin Grand Cross is not only a great- Dortmund Schalke with congenital allergy (and black and yellow gene ), but also the BVB Veteran .
+ Jürgen Klopp is the trainer "father" - at least for Zidan.


first FC NUREMBERG

+ The loaned defender injured, Nuremberg overtaken the shock Breno.
+ The bulk of the storm call-up is nothing more than harmless The incarnate.
+ is struggling to win in NRW is suffering, that is on NRW curse
+ Hat but many young players from VfL Bochum: Nuremberg Bochum project
+ If nothing works, sometimes abgucken the rivals: hope for the effect Fürth


HANNOVER 96

+ After the death of Robert Enke was also Figure 96 touch something soft. Well! The "team" (until the next victory written consistent only in quotation marks), which asks for home matches in the mourning Arena , also known as The 96-Luschen or nosedive 96 , is now expressed in the Slomka crisis.
+ Many injured in Red Cross 1996.
+ Jan Schlaudraff is only slack plan.
+ Arouna Koné scores goals and is therefore blonde canon and Gate K (on) one .
+ goalkeeper Florian Fromlowitz is either the successor sink or sink- Heritage .
+ coach Mirko Slomka , also known as Sieglos-Mirko Slomka and Slom -Ko, has recently member of the club coach of the worst miss starter.


BAYERN MUNICH

If + as well as football played? Ribery magic seal a front!
+ In some parallel universe is this call may sense Bavaria, today you have to be all the miller!
+ A bit of chat makes the association for the big valve
FC + The FC Bayern Germany has many players in the national team.
+ The club is suffering from the curse HSV-.
+ last name and organization agree before: Thomas Müller is the little bomber .
+ What is really Michael Rensing , also known as Planned Kahn's successor?
+ coach Louis van Gaal sometimes has a bad mood, he is Louis van bilious . On other days he speaks on television about his sex life, then he is a true Love General , this Louis van Love! And he also dreams of the German national team to train - that makes him well-wishes to coach .
+ David Alaba debut in the Champions League: wonderful Alaba .
+ Mario Gomez 'upper body is elected on a website for the sexiest choice, it will itself thus to Mr Baller-Body .


EINTRACHT FRANKFURT

+ Can not beat Magath, therefore, suffers under the curse Magath.
+ For this is the winter shopping good mood: ALTIN made Eintracht TOP . One could also say Altintop prevents Frankfurt-flop . Go
+ yet, cool costume Frankfurt.
+ Ricardo glark is tough Business, he is the Eintracht Rambo .
+ coach Michael Skibbe is on the right track: From error Whisperer for all-true-makers .


MAINZ 05

+ New Trick coach Tuchel: home sleeper tactics against the away curse
+ strong at home: The Invincible .
+ and efficiently in addition: Mainz minimalist .
+ Aristide Bance is also known as the buffalo from Burkina Faso .


Hertha BSC

+ From catch-hunters catch-dreamer . About
+ almost every article: Hertha the abyss.
+ The image will forward the letter from a fan, with the request to the Hertha professionals: READ THE THEIR FAILURE!
+ And before the game, the anxious question: get coach Friedhelm Funkel his time sleeping caps in time awake?
Does + not look good for coach Friedhelm Funkel : He is the error and Fasel twinkle , and because he apparently changes its slogans, the Hertha Fall-Downs.


HAMBURGER SV

+ HSV plays in Holland, but many players are ill: Say "Cheese! Scheib Lette like falling apart the team.
+ Marcus Berg international meets like - he is the € Mountain .
+ Ruud van Nistelrooy , of HSV-world star compares score goals with a ketchup bottle and receives two new names: it is the football philosopher and ketchup Ruud . If he even hits, it will be Ruud van NistelFREU .
+ Also Zé Roberto is a Samba Brazil .


WERDER BREMEN

+ Quo vadis, Bremen, or: Schaaft Werder now the turn?
+ No success against Dutch club: That stinks, Werder! Cheese curse stops .
+ Philipp Bargfrede is again a very big, now he is the crown Frings.
+ Naldo, the Brazil-Baller is probably Brazilian.


TSG Hoffenheim

+ Fairly international force: United Colors of Hoffenheim .
+ The fat years seem to be over: Who wants to see football is brisk at Hoffenheim not right!
+ Security is very important on the new training ground: Fort Knox Zuzenhausen .
+ Hoffenheim win against Hannover: Rangnick against ex-boyfriend out of the crisis .
+ fight whisk Tobi Weis is a true explosive package. Whatever that may mean.
+ Luiz Gustavo however conceded too many global references: The record-offenders
+ Prince Tagoe is - you guessed it - a real fairy-tale Prince .


VFB STUTTGART

+ Khalid Boulahrouz is not used: it is the frustrated Dutch . Moreover, his nickname cannibal Thus, the aim must surely be: The "cannibal" wants to bite .
+ very successful week for Cacau he is the 7-goal-in-a-week bombers, and desire: A Cacau for Jogi .
+ Alexander Hleb does not feel well, because is probably not much to say except: Hleb well!
+ goalkeeper Jens Lehmann will Kung-Fu-Lehmann .


VFL Wolfsburg

+ It does not run around in the club: The wolves in hibernation .
+ The strike partnership Grafite and Edin Dzeko , together they are Grafiko .
+ Trainer Lorenz Guenther Koestner is the Leverkusen-Schreck .


VFL BOCHUM

+ Here's to the coach: Bochum plays properly Herrlich. And being able to vote yet the results: This table is gorgeous horny .
+ Bochum plays "dirty" and becomes the "disgust" team - what should be here really meant as a compliment. Aha.
With + the head of particular importance: Milos Maric , the rescuer bald in the middle
+ Lewis Holtby is a well-playing on loan from Schalke, he is Magath magic dwarf .
+ And three cheers for Heiko Herrlich : The Heiko Lama. He preaches humility and rescues Bochum . (See also below: V - THE TOP 3 OF THE WORST photomontage)







II - ALSO HAVE - OUTSIDE THE BULI

+ Marcus Babbel is good friends with the Cologne coach and knows his way to Stuttgart, he is so Soldo VfB Spy
+ Netherlands coach Bert van Marwijk the Holland Berti .
+ The Austrian coach speaks confused: Dietmar Constantini the Dösi coach .
+ Urs Siegenthaler r known to be the chief spy Jogi.
+ All previous German World Cup Towart are now all Eagle predecessor.
+ Rainer Calmund can really only one thing: The XXL man.
+ Antonio Cassano runs successfully, like to play over in panties field. This makes it the striker panties, nude Cassano and streaker player.







III - GENERAL football school

position problem - if the coach wrong establishes

listlessly pro - player who shows too little use of power (even listlessly- Training )

worry-Star - Major players in the crisis

Keller kick - A tale of two teams that are in the table below

tomatoes attack - bad referee performance makes (often for referee anger )

Defense striker - Defender, the score

Glitter stage Bundesliga - well ...

pitch table - a kind of statistics of near-goal

life insurance - very, very important player (also guarantee of survival , victory guarantee )

Complete Comeback - just recovered player equal to 90 minutes playing

Pineapple Cup - BILD proclaimed championship, the teams play for it in the league for nothing more

's last-chance game - an extremely important game in Absteigskampf

discontinued model - players in the his club no chance of getting







IV - SPECIAL: ENCOUNTERS OF SOMETHING DIFFERENT

+ hammer striker against misery striker (Kuranyi Schalke gg Podolski Köln)
+ hate Derby (gg Schalke Dortmund -. comes from such an emotional Derby "hate" is always good ... incredible )
+ The revenge-leg (HSV gg Hertha - Petric has a score to settle )
+ descent Luschen-lumber Summit (96 gg Freiburg)
+ Magath champion beat Magath (gg Wolfsburg Schalke)







V - THE TOP 3 OF THE WORST PHOTO ASSEMBLIES


The day on which any intern in the Image Editor "Paint" found on your computer, was a bad day.

TABLE 3:



Yes, René, grab the thing, this totally weird proportioned cup, as this is static in the air? mind? is? Just to cross, you've got it. If you can use your right arm then ever in life again read, but sometimes, how did.



POSITION 2:



Ewald Lienen has a wool or cotton candy mouse on his head and looks like Andy Warhol on crack. Where, in addition to the cotton candy thing is the similarity? And that is with coaches and their predecessors as well as with both dog and owner? Is there scientific evidence?



TABLE 1:



WITHOUT WORDS.

FINALLY ON QUIZ:

referee Babak Rafati (39) had the midfielder on Saturday after just 14 minutes after an indicated revenge kick to Bremen Aaron Hunt in the cabin!

Who's with whom where?

In this sense!